Ps 23:1 "The LORD is my shepherd, I shall not want."
Lord, draw near to me; because i feel incapable to draw to you. My actions & mouth drive me further from you as my heart longs to be closer. Because of this desire (if through my lack of action you can call it that) I make promises to you that I struggle to keep. Promises that David said, so I feel like I can too. Like "this earth has nothing I desire but you" and "the LORD is my shepherd I shall not want". Lord i know the intensity of those prayers, yet i just say them, almost to make my heart mean it instead of my heart meaning it first. Or maybe I want you to be proud of me. I want you to know that I love you even when I don't always show it. That I'm trying my best to love you and it's just so hard right now & I don't know why. Yet LORD, I know it's just my unbelief, the same that tackled Adam & Eve in the garden. Your Word says you couldn't love me more. I just don't believe that all the time. And the scary part is I don't know what you'd have to do to prove it! Was your son not enough!! What a sad statement to think. That what your son, my savior, did on the cross was not enough to show me you care & that you want a deep relationship with me.
LORD, open my eyes so I may see & say "amazing grace, how sweet the sound, that saved a wretch like me, I once was lost, but now i'm found, was blind but now I see" or "How deep the Fathers love for us, how vast beyond all measure, that He should give His only son, to make a wretch His treasure. Why should I gain from His reward? I can not give an answer, but this I know with all my heart, His wounds have pain my ransom." LORD, show me how to increase my faith. I want a faith that rocks a world but only glorifies You beacuse You know I've done nothing even close of earning any but judgement from you. I just want the mindset to constantly think of you so when you come I can sing "Holy, Holy, Holy is the LORD God almight" with all the angels & hear my Father say "well done, good & faithful servant!". "I love you LORD and I lift my voice to worship you, o my soul rejoice", "for it is well, it is well with my soul." LORD I know I amke you proud, please help me to live like I know that. Please help me to know your Word, and to pray like I know you will answer. Not to pray because it sounds good to your ear. Help me mean Psalms 23:1, help me live like it's true in my life. Open my heart and eyes so that I may see. Thank you LORD
1 comment:
Today is my half birthday! But in order to live a radical life i believe the key is so pursue after God cause he is already pursing you hardcore! You have to wait for Him and He will meet you. And when you pray those prayers, life is going to get hard. God makes life hard because he loves us and is refining us through fire. I can say i'm closest to God than ever right now, but my world looked on the outside and if described to anyone would look like it is crashing down around me, BUT i have this amazing peace. I understand that it is opposition because i am in God's will. Being in God's will doesn't mean that i wouldn't struggle cause i have messed up and probably mess up everyday. Show a heart of repentance and hop back on the wagon. Dare to be different.
Change your outlook from being self-centered and focusing on your pain to say, "Lord, what are you doing through this tough time? Who would you want me to share my struggles with so that they can better see you?" That has helped me cause life is really hard right now but i can say, honestly, that i have a joy and i understand what i going on.
There is my encouragement.
in Christ alone,
Annie <><
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