Reflections

Well last night I was talking to the beautiful and amazing Mark and Ali, who are back for my birthday (or I would like to think so ; ) ) But as I was summing up the year for them I kind of saw things from a new perspective for the first time.

My year was so stinking crazy. I really wanted my year to be like what I had heard about Chris Rule's years in college; and if you don't know Chris Rule, your missing out, he's a great guy and really has a heart for Jesus. Anyway, I would always get updates about the people going to his Bible Study for the guys in his dorm and how people were coming to Christ. That kind of was my model for my first year of college, and if that was the standard, I failed miserably.

God really exposed the false beliefs in my faith, and really showed me the things I believed in that were "hammy-downs" if you will, just things i took as true that weren't. Through that God really gave me opportunity's to share life and doubt and in the mist of that , faith, to people who had the label but didn't care for the Christian lifestyle of surrender and love. I realized at the end of the year that my audience my freshmen year wasn't the people who were atheist or people who hated God, but people who were lukewarm, and just hadn't experienced how amazing Jesus can be, and how a life with Him is worth it.

Looking back I saw people who God blessed me so much with living life with, and being able to encourage and challenge together. God was good through all things, my really stupid mess ups and sins, and was their when I needed Him feeling lonely and lost yelling at Him in my bed. He let me see that pulling someone from lukewarmness into joy with Christ is just as a miracle and enjoyable as pulling someone from no belief in God at all.

I think last night, for the first time in a while, my soul took a deep sigh of relief, and rested at peace at what was happening in life and how God is faithful; always. We always seem to neglect his tract record for always being their when were are facing a situation and doubting him. I know it seems hard, and like He can't pull through and show us peace, but He can, and I promise He will. I hope that encourages you.

drew


Andrew Music Exchange:

This week is kind of an oldie, and though I really don't like this band that much, i am in love with this song and it hits me over and over again every time I listen to it.

Snow Patrol-- Open Your Eyes

"To much television!"

That was something my mom used to say when i was a kid. I was never one of those kids who just went outside and played in dirt until high school came along. My dirt phase actually started when i was in high school. But nevertheless my past month has been chalk full of t.v. Part of this is because during the day i have nothing better to do.... well that's a lie, i do but i choose instead to indulge myself in my new favorite t.v. show SCRUBS!

I love that show, let me just tell you. I think their are so many funny parts in it and i love all the characters and how they have developed them but most importantly they have some really thought provoking and ethical scenarios that happen at the end. They always make me think and really question my own life.

Some of the stuff i really have been thinking about lately is comfort and my mark. Still sitting on 2 Corinthians 1 which talks about God's comfort and how in our struggle God comforts us and how we in turn comfort others. This is a commandment, just as much as "love your neighbor". It may not be implied in that verse as a command, "who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God. (vs.4) But it's is defiantly a part of love your neighbor or love your enemy. But what I have been thinking about is have i done that. Because at the heart of what I want and desire out of life is to help others. If i do nothing other than be a light to those around me, and if people know that Drew is their to talk to, to help, to comfort and encourage, then i feel complete. That is the minimum of what I want to be for people and if I can't, then I really think something is horribly wrong. So that's what I want to be, if you need anything, I want to be that guy to be their and help.


Andrew Music Exchange:

This weeks musician for the week is Ray Lamontagne. He is very folksy and has an amazing voice. My favorite songs are "Three More Days" and "Trouble", but all on his myspace are excellent. I would highly recommend his newest CD, "Till the Sun Turns Black", it is a newer look on music for him but has some great songs.

Bad Latte

One of the things that have been thinking about for a while now has been being lukewarm. Not that I truly fear this, because I know my heart desires God and my life is for Him; nevertheless, I constantly think about what that means. I mean this is a serious question because God cannot stand those who are lukewarm. In Revelations it talks about how he actually spits those who are lukewarm out of His mouth "like a latte that isn't iced or hot, just lukewarm", as Francis Chan puts it. What it truly looks like to be complacent. I mean, if Christ is all that is not lukewarm, how would that translate into today? I don't think Jesus would spend much time watching t.v. or on the computer or facebook. Would He have a job? Would it be in ministry? Martin Luther talks about how a shoemaker is just as religious as the priest. If he wholeheartedly makes those shoes with the all his God given skills, he is doing just as a holy job as the priest.

Maybe I'm ignorant, but I really think their is a flaw in that thinking. I don't think if someone is good at making shirts, he should lock himself in the mountains and make shirts. Life is more than shirts and shoes. As of now, I am not convinced that we can make a shoe for someone, let them take it back, and really please God. I'm sure God delights in our hard work for Him, but if there is anything I have learned this year and summer, is that God is extremely communal. The Bible was not meant to be read and kept to yourself. We are commanded to love our neighbor, love our enemies, pray together, praise togther, and break bread together. Most of the Bible was written for Groups of people, not indiviuals.

I've really been chewing on 2 Corinthians 1 for a while now. I must have read it over a month ago, and I can't keep my mind off of it. It talks about Pauls sufferings and how we share in Christ's suffering and are comforted in our pain through that, and that we are supposed to share our sufferings in order that we may pass that comfort on to someone else who is going through trial. Paul is so raw and real here in the beginning of the letter. The Bible is about living for God together, we are a body aren't we?

Anyway, back to my point: i really, honestly, believe America put us into this indiviual Jesus, true for me, not for you, all ways lead to heaven crap into our heads. Jesus is a challenge, He always has been. God challenged Israel, His chosen people, to live set apart from those who didn't worship Him. The BIG picture of the old testament isn't what God did through moses, or david, but Israel, as a group Beloved's in love with their Lover. Christ was the same challenge, it's clear with all the talk about hating your brother making you a lier to the Gospel (I know that's John, but he got it from Jesus I'm sure) and "By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.” (John 13:35).

I don't know what Jesus would look like or what job He would have but I know He would love and encourage community, and wouldn't have a room or apartment to Himself, He would put as many people in it as possible, and pay for all of them. He would always want people together, living to love others, along with God. Living the His instructions out, step by step with His brothers and sisters, to encourage them, rebuke them, and teach them. So in order to not be "that latte" that's what I'm going to do. I am no where near perfect, as anyone who knows me; i can be a real idiot sometimes, but I want to live with Him, and I want companions along for the ride.


Andrew Music Exchange:

So my friend are seeing who can come out with the best music each week, his this week is The Robbie Seay Band , they are really amazing. I am going to recommend someone a little different, more for the laid back listeners, not that Robbie Seay isn't that. Andy Mckee is hands down the greatest finger picker of our time and is an amazing musician. "Art of motion", "Rylynn" is also amazing and he is well known for his song "Drifting". check him out and I hope you enjoy!

Thoughts as of late

I'm sorry i haven't written anything lately (even thought i'm really not sure anyone reads this). I have just been really the past month with school and papers and just getting things set for the summer, and now that summer as arrived and my job doesn't start until June, I have all the time world to record my thoughts.

So lately I have really just been enjoying home. I have been sitting around for the most part, just trying to get into the right patterns for the summer like reading my Bible daily and getting in some good time of prayer. It's been nice to not have school to worry about, really anything to worry about for the most part. Also I have been having great conversations with the people around me lately. I haven't even been home a week and I've already had two great night of conversations. One was the first couple hours I was home we started talking about predestination and free will and our own devravity and choosing God. That was a great night, then I had one last night with some of my friends who have graduated or are doing grad work; we talked about just big issues that seem to come up. Changing God's mind (Ex. 30), God's regret (1 Sa 15:11, Gen 6:6-7), God's suprise (Gen 6:5), how God can be omnipotent, yet hell is the absense of God's presence, and the biggest one was talking about whether it was okay for Rahab to lie, which lead us to the question: If you were in Germany in 1941 and hiding Jews and the Nazi's asked if you were hiding Jews, would it be okay to lie.

I really don't know the answer to some of these questions, I have worked them out the best i could, but with some of them I really don't know. Now I have an opinion, but i'm definatly open to that being wrong. It's just been really satisfying intellecually, socially and spiritually. It's just been a great way to be home and those issues have been floating around my head a lot.

Also, another big thing in my life, and if you read this, i would love your input; I am really considering doing stint (one year trip) to St. Petersburg Russia with Campus Crusade in August of '09. Now I know your probably saying to yourself, "drew, that's more than a year away, I really don't think you have to worry about it yet". Well my friend, do i have news for you then. See Tim (my leader) wants to have a core group by August, and a definate number of people by Thanksgiving. That's a major decision to make within the next couple months! So I would ask for your prayer and counsel. I think it would be so awesome, but I just don't know, i have this thing, i don't know how to describe it, holding me back, saying you should just do what everyone else is doing. But i know this opportunity is so rare. I also want to make sure I have the right motives because I don't want to go simply because I love Russia and the people I know in Russia.

I hope to be writing more about what God is doing and teaching me soon, so please keep reading!

Lessons From Brazil

During my spring break I had an amazing opportunity to travel to Manaus Brazil to travel down the Amazon River distributing and giving medical and dental care to tribes along the river. The trip was absolutely amazing and one of the most amazing parts of the trip was one night before we got on the boat, we went to one of the larger churches in the heart of Manaus. Now before I explain to you how amazing this experience was, I have a confession to make. When I was flying from Miami to Manaus I was thinking about the experience that was ahead of me and I was thinking about the spirituality of the Brazilians. I had this spiritual ego that was rooted in my American thought that said that any preaching or sermons I would hear would be watered down and weak. I mean when I think about major thinkers in spirituality I think about C.S. Lewis, though born in Ireland, a gifted writer from Oxford who wrote “Mere Christianity”, or Martin Luther, the radical German theologian who nailed the 95 Theses to the door of the Schlosskirche (Castle Church). My thinking was saying that anyone who really could think about Christ in an educated, challenging way was either in Europe or America.
As the service started all the Americans occupied the first two pews on one half of the rather large church. My mindset was shattered the moment the service started; the pastor welcomed everyone to the church and then asked everyone to get into groups of two or three and pray for the service and for the worship and for each other and the world around us. After about five minutes of prayer they opened with a few songs of worship. As I looked around I saw the congreation in deep fellowship and communion with God through worship, not the typical “just stand their and move your mouth” American church worship, but real, raw worhsip. Then an associate pastor gave his testimony and more worship followed.
Sadly, as the head pastor rose to give the sermon, my mind had not fully overturned it’s prior ways of thinking about the spirituality of the people around me. Then the pastor spoke. I was taken back as he delieved a sermon on a highly controversial message on James 1:19-27 about “Listening and Doing” and pure religion and moved to James 2:14-26 on “Faith and Deeds” and how “without faith it is impossible to pelase God…” (Hebrews 11:6). He challeneged the congreation to act, because if there are no actions, James claims there is no real faith. A real faith in God propells and motivates actions of love in the name of Jesus Christ. He challenged the congreation to recognize the drugs in the community, and the orphans and widows and to love them, and take them in and take care of them.The service not only blew me away but challenged me more than any church I had been to in years.
Afterwards came a few more announcments, one of which was an older women who was announcing a play about Jesus and crying, and begging the congreation to bring their neighbors and the community around them because she believed that the play would have an effect. As she walked off stage we got up for communion and many members of the church came and walked from the other side of the church to comfort her and encourage her. The entire experience was so breathtaking and amazing, and that was just the first 24 hours. My eyes were opened to so much that whole trip through my Brazilian and American teammates on the boat and experiences in the city.
Before I left I was already struggling with the issues in the church of America. We are so split, with so many denomenatnions, what happen to Ephesians 4, “Unity in the Body of Christ”? It bothers me that we don’t open in not only in prayer as a church, but in prayer with the people around us. It bothers me how it’s become so mundane when we sings things like “open the eyes of my heart” or “I’m coming back to the heart of worship and it’s all about you” or “you’re more than enough for me”, we don’t mean it. I don’t understand how we can say such powerful statements and walk away unchanged. As I open my Bible I find that when the disciples got together after Jesus died, among the things they did was devoted themseleves to Jesus’ teachings, to looking out for each other, communion, and prayer and “the Lord added to their number daily those who were being saved.” I may not know exactly what we are missing, but until we start seeing these things happening, something is wrong. We need more pastors to speak Truth, to challenge the church to live for Christ, not listen to Him on Sunday. “Do not merely listen to the Word, and so deceive yourseleves. Do what it says” (James 1:22). We should not run from broken people, broken homes or broken neighborhoods, for we are the “light and salt of the earth!” We need to see the evil but overcome it with light, not shy away, but realize that “You, dear children, are from God and have overcome them, because the one who is in you is greater than the one who is in the world” (1 John 4:4). Maybe the reason this is a problem is because we have the “educated writers” and thinkers of Christianity, and not enough leaders of living Christianity. Coming back from this trip, that was the cry of my heart. To stop thinking, I know what the Bible says, it says to “love my neighbor” and I don’t need to look into it anymore. The Greek and Hebrew all add up to the same thing: “love your neighbor”, so why do I not even know my neighbor? “O God let us be, a generation that seeks, that seeks your face o God of Jacob” (Give us Clean Hands, Charlie Hall).

Brazil

Well I will be heading to Manaus Brazil in about a week. It's crazy to think that it's coming that soon, but I am ready for it and wanting it to come. I can't wait to get away from my crazy life right now with failing school, lacrosse sucking up my life and whatnot. i can't wait to just unplug and go down a river and hang out with kids. I can't wait. It will be so awesome and the team, especially the guys are so awesome and I've gotten to know them really well. I can't wait, please pray for that. I still have some letters to send out, I need to get on that I know, but I need to write another letter and that is intimidating so I put it off. But I will. Please pray for the trip, the members, me, the kids, and the safety of the people, that we don't get sick with anything while were there. Thanks!

Promises

Hebrews 13:5b: "Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you."

Romans 8: 35, 38-39, 1: "Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord. Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus."


Lately the weather in West Palm Beach has been, well let’s just say way below par. From Tuesday to Wednesday if I looked out my window it looked like there was a waterfall outside my window. There was even a tornado watch Tuesday night. So I have had a lot of time inside to dink around and just think. No my roommate smokes the occasionally and so he has lighters lying around. Now since I collect them I have a few myself and we would always play with them and I always found it interesting just to look at fire and watch it work and just watch what it does. Now Tony and my other friends, when they see a lighter they start to burn things, paper, forks, really whatever is around. This makes me slightly aggravated because the room starts to smell awful. But lately I have been wondering about their obsession with burning things and how I don't know why you would because the results are mostly all bad. A burned paper is: useless, smelly, messing and the only good thing is how big and cool the fire gets, but it's so temporary compared to turning up your lighter to full blast and you can hold that flame for as long as you want. It's safe, contained and doesn't have any of the bad side effects.

Now to my point. I think lately my actions in life have been identical to my friend’s actions in burning things in my room. They have been extremely temporary and have left horrible side effects on my areas of my life. Like my friends, I feel like I have rushed into this semester, seeing a lighter and I just start to light things on fire, not thinking about others, myself or what God really wants for me. It's been a struggle for this semester for sure. Just getting into God's word and spending time to just sit and communion with Him in prayer has been really difficult because I have been busy burning things. I'm holding on to those promises though and it has been such an encouragement to me. Last night I was so angry at myself for getting distracted from such a great Father, and I was so angry at so many things in my life. I felt so alone and begged God to show me that He never leaved me and never forsaken me. I begged Him to hold me close and to draw me close to His heart so we could breathe together and live together again. He did, and after at least 30 minutes of being angry and upset, I was asleep with minutes of praying that and feeling God draw me close and feeling His peace "which transcends all understanding" guarded my heart and my mind (Phil. 4:7).

God is so good, I know in the mist of my pain and anger and frustration and busyness of life that He is good and here. Some of the verses I have memorized have helped: "Turn to me and be gracious to me, for I am lonely and afflicted. The troubles of my heart have multiplied; free me from my anguish." "My heart says of you 'seek His face!' Your face Lord, I will seek." "I am still confident in this: I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living (earth). Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord."


Psalms 25:16,17 ; 27:8 ; 27: 13,14

Journal Excerpt

Ps 23:1 "The LORD is my shepherd, I shall not want."

Lord, draw near to me; because i feel incapable to draw to you. My actions & mouth drive me further from you as my heart longs to be closer. Because of this desire (if through my lack of action you can call it that) I make promises to you that I struggle to keep. Promises that David said, so I feel like I can too. Like "this earth has nothing I desire but you" and "the LORD is my shepherd I shall not want". Lord i know the intensity of those prayers, yet i just say them, almost to make my heart mean it instead of my heart meaning it first. Or maybe I want you to be proud of me. I want you to know that I love you even when I don't always show it. That I'm trying my best to love you and it's just so hard right now & I don't know why. Yet LORD, I know it's just my unbelief, the same that tackled Adam & Eve in the garden. Your Word says you couldn't love me more. I just don't believe that all the time. And the scary part is I don't know what you'd have to do to prove it! Was your son not enough!! What a sad statement to think. That what your son, my savior, did on the cross was not enough to show me you care & that you want a deep relationship with me.

LORD, open my eyes so I may see & say "amazing grace, how sweet the sound, that saved a wretch like me, I once was lost, but now i'm found, was blind but now I see" or "How deep the Fathers love for us, how vast beyond all measure, that He should give His only son, to make a wretch His treasure. Why should I gain from His reward? I can not give an answer, but this I know with all my heart, His wounds have pain my ransom." LORD, show me how to increase my faith. I want a faith that rocks a world but only glorifies You beacuse You know I've done nothing even close of earning any but judgement from you. I just want the mindset to constantly think of you so when you come I can sing "Holy, Holy, Holy is the LORD God almight" with all the angels & hear my Father say "well done, good & faithful servant!". "I love you LORD and I lift my voice to worship you, o my soul rejoice", "for it is well, it is well with my soul." LORD I know I amke you proud, please help me to live like I know that. Please help me to know your Word, and to pray like I know you will answer. Not to pray because it sounds good to your ear. Help me mean Psalms 23:1, help me live like it's true in my life. Open my heart and eyes so that I may see. Thank you LORD